In between & within the writing. Why I write

 Often times I am extremely hesitant when sharing a writing of mine, well because I am opening my self to others and that is something I am not interested in at all but I guess I just contradicted myself. Oh well I understand myself. However, I have realized that writing helps me describe my thoughts thoroughly when words are absent for me to verbally say. Writing helps me become aware of myself. Writing is such an allegory in which I can get lost in. Writing listens without judging. Writing is as intense as I want it to be. Writing gives freedom to my fingers. As I start typing, it feels as if my fingers naturally start pouring my thoughts and feelings into the keyboard (humorously I love that metaphor). There are moments in which all I want to do is write but I can't because life does not pause. Here I am, on a Saturday afternoon finally writing. It feels as if this weekend is the first weekend I have time to breathe from school, work, and escaramuza. And that feels amazing. It feels amazing to just sit in my apartment completely alone while I give my emotions time to become aware of everything else that is important for me. Often times, I want life to fast forward but I remain optimistic; good things take time. Perhaps one day everything I do will have a good recompense. As for now, I'll continue writing my way through life. If there is something that helps you become a better person spiritually and emotionally, do it regardless of what anyone has to say. Gradually I start to become less and less caring of what others think of me, because if there is something I have clear in my mind and conscious is that- as long as you know who you are, nothing else matters. There are times in which I feel completely lost and I spend so much time contemplating why exactly I feel such way and you know after so many hours I find no answer until I start reading what I write. I have so many drafted writings that I will never share because like I once said "reading them scares me at times". If there is something I hate, is being a vulnerable person, but hysterically I am. -Ugh! I laugh at myself because I shut myself so much from emotions but funny thing is that I am totally the oposite. I love romance books which at times I consider myself a hopeless romantic- yuck! I love delicate music and you know, I think I just went out of topic on why I love writing. I guess I love writing because I fade into what I really am. And maybe I'm just writing this much because I am overdosed on caffeine- hahaha. Happy Saturday!

xoxo,
dianalopez